Acceptance

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am then I can change.
Carl Rogers

Surrender

The concept of surrender teaches you that when you stop resisting and surrender to your situation exactly as it is, things begin to change. Resistance is an instinctive mechanism you use to push away or deny your pain to protect you from your feelings of loss and grief. In the end, resistance robs you of your capacity to heal and transcend. when you surrender, you acknowledge, "This is what I am faced with right now in my life's journey. While Id like it to be different, I must allow myself to face the reality of what is happening -- When you surrender you release attachment to how you feel your life should be and invite yourself to be in the presence of your life exactly as it is. While naturally difficult to do, surrender is an act of courage. Dr. Alan Wolfelt.

SOS Help for Emotions

My current professional read is: SOS Help for Emotions - Managing Anxiety, Anger & Depression by Dr. Lynn Clark, Ph.D. It is a book grounded in Albert Ellis' Cognitive Behavior Therapy. It is an easy to read book with exercises and a summary of the main points at the end of each chapter. He states: Manage your Emotions or they will Manage you! Effectively managing our emotions includes: soothing and calming ourselves when update; practicing self-control; managing anger; controlling impulses; expressing emotions in healthy ways; avoiding sustained anxiety, anger and depression; handling inevitable defeats and setbacks in life; preventing negative emotions from dominating our judgment and problem solving. Two additional ingredients for managing our emotions are: tolerating frustration and accepting and valuing ourselves. Learn to soothe your emotions.

Thus far, a good read with some helpful suggestions.

Finding Hope

For women experiencing depression and looking to find hope, join us for our 8-week psychoeducational group to begin Monday, March 8th from 4:30 - 6:00 PM. Learn techniques to help the healing process and gain your life back. Nutrition, exercise, medications, anxiety management, identify underlying causes, eliminate negative habits of body and mind will be some of our topics of discussion. We're a group to encourage women with depression how to find hope and joy in your life.

We will post summaries of our lessons so that if you can't join us in Bountiful you can be a part of us!

What Happy Couples Know

This article has 5 great tips on keeping your relationship happy. In summary they are: 1. Talk to each other (seems obvious but SO important ... connect each day) 2. Flirt & Have fun 3. Get Stupid Together (laugh & be silly) 4. Declare Your Independence (Have activities/friendships outside your marriage) 5. Share a Spiritual Moment each day.

Healthy Assertive Rights

I recall my mom encouraging me to read the book My Perfect Right as an adolescent girl. I appreciate her encouraging me to implement the following into my life.

I have a right to put myself first, sometimes.
I have a right to make mistakes.
I have a right to be the final judge of my feelings and accept them as legitimate.
I have a right to express my own opinions and beliefs.
I have a right to question what I don't like and to protest unfair treatment.
I have a right to ask for clarification.
I have a right to negotiate for change.
I have a right to ask for help or emotional support.
I have a right to feel and express pain and or uncomfortable feelings.
I have a right to receive recognition for my special qualities and talents and for my work and achievments.
I have a right to say "no" to other people's requests.
I have a right to be alone, even if others request my company.
I have a right not to have to justify myself to others.
I have a right not to take responsibility for someone else's problem.
I have a right not to have to anticiipate the needs and wishes of others.
I have a right to say "I don't know" or "I don't understand.

Pain & Hope

In the words of Alla Bozarth-Campbell, "Pain is bearable when we are able to trust that it won't last forever, not when we pretend it doesn't exist.

As Helen Keller states, "The only way to the other side is through."

These two quotes are among many in Dr. Alan Wolfelt's Understanding Your Suicide Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing your Heart.

Tonight we will meet for our grief group - 5:15 - 6:30 for those who have experienced the death of someone they love from suicide. 6:45 - 8:00 for those who have experienced the death of someone they love.

If you'd like to join us, you can contact Becky at 801.259.3883 or email: becky.lpc@gmail.com

What's Self-Compassion?

... bearing witness to one's own suffering, and responding with kindness and understanding.

What do you do to create self-compassion in your life?