Friday, July 29, 2011

Mindfulness. Self-Compassion. Support.

One of our reference books for our 8-week course to begin in September will be The Mindful Path to Self-compassion by Christopher Germer, PhD. 

"... no matter how hard we try to avoid emotional pain, it follows us everywhere.  Difficult emotions - shame, anger, loneliness, fear, despair, confusion -- arrive at our door.  They come when things don't go according to our expectations, whe we're separated from loedd ones, and as a part of ordinary sickness, old age, and death.  IT's just not possible to avoid feeling bad.  But we can learn to deal with misery and distress in a new, healthier way..." 

Contact Christy Cox, LCSW, 801.243.4959 or Becky Andrews, LPC, 801.259.3883 for details on our course at Resilient Solutions, Inc to begin Tuesday, September 13th (10- 11:15) or Wednesday, Septemer 14th (5:00 - 6:15). 

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Healing from Sexual Abuse.

RISE is a 24-week group focusing on helping women heal from the emotional trauma of sexual abuse.  This group is a Savior focused group which encourages spiritual as well as emotional healing.   Some of the topics discussed are:  healthy boundaries, fear, anger, intimacy in relationships, guilt, shame, triggers, self nurturing, trust, relaxation and forgiveness. This group has both discussion and experiential elements to encourage optimal work and healing.  The next group will begin Wednesday, September 7th, 5:00 - 6:30 PM ($40/group session).  Contact Lisa Bradford, LCSW, 801.660.8441 to register for this group or more information. 

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Discovering Self-Compassion

Current read:  Self-Compassion - Stop Beating Yourself up and Leave Insecurity Behind.  Kristin Neff, Ph.D.

From this book and others, we will implement two 8-week courses this Fall on Mindfulness and Self-Compassion.

Contact Christy Cox, LCSW, 801.243.4959 for more information.

This kind of compulsive concern with "I, me, and mine" isn't the same as loving ourselves ... Loving ourselves points us to capacities of resilience, compassion, and understanding within that are simply part of being alive.  --Sharon Salzberg, The Force of Kindness

Monday, July 18, 2011

Fall Grief Groups

Our Summer grief groups will finish in a couple weeks.  Lasting friendships have been made, support and knowing that someone can understand your grief has been felt, sharing about loved ones, crying and yes, much laughter is in our groups. 

Fall Grief and Loss Groups (12-weeks, $175) will begin the week of September 12th.    Some people join our groups, some find it helpful to meet individually as well as join a group, others find meeting individually is what is helpful.  Our grief is unique.  Contact Becky Andrews, 801.259.3883 or email: for details.
"All those years I fell for the great palace lie that grief should be gotten over as quickly as possible and as privately.  But what I've discovered since is that the lifelong fear of grief keeps us in a barren, isolated place and that only grieving can heal grief; the passage of time will lessen the acuteness, but time alone, without the direct experience of grief, will not heal it ... we are in a world of grief, and it is at once intolerable and a great opportunity.  I'm pretty sure that it is only by experiencing that ocean of sadness in a naked and immediate way that we come to be healed -- which is to say, that we come to experience life with a real sense of presences and spaciousness and peace."  Annie Lamott, Traveling Mercies

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Labeling Emotions Calms the Brain

In Christopher Germer's book, The Mindful Path to Self-compassion, freeing yourself from destructive thoughts and emotions (one of my favorites), he defines Self-Compassion as bearing witness to our pain and responding with kindness and understanding.  Labeling emotions calms the brain.  How does mindfulness meditation actually help balance our emotions?  In a research at University of California discovered that the amygdala - the part of the brain that sounds an alarm in times of danger- was less active when en emotion label was attached to the upset face shown compared to when a name was attached.  Parts of the prefrontal cortex became more active as the amygdala became less active, demonstrating that the prefrontal cortex inhibited the activity in the amygdala.  Creswell's research suggests a neurological 'mechanism of action' for why we feel better when we talk to a professional, a friend, write in a journal, or otherwise put our feelings into words.  (page 72, Mindfulness & Self-Compassion)

Christy Cox, LCSW, 801.243.4959 will be offering an 8-week course beginning in September on Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions at Resilient Solutions, Inc.  Contact her for more information.   

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Couples in Crisis. Marital Therapy

Trust & Betrayal

Regrettable incidents between individuals happen in everyday life – they are inevitable, explains Dr. Gottman. If it is not fully processed, it can become as a stone in one’s shoe. Unhappy couples can do irrational things toward one another that can be hurtful and damaging to their relationship.

However, couples taking responsibility for their own actions, instead of pointing their finger at their partner, are taking responsibility and ownership for themselves, which actually helps repair the relationship with their partner. Look to your spouse’s happiness before you look to your own, counsels Dr. Gottman. Both individuals in the relationship want to feel and know that their partner is there for them… if they can really talk with their partner.
Trust is built during small moments… being there for your partner is the most powerful way for trust to build! Gottman’s research further reveals “in a happy marriage, while discussing problems, couples make at least five times as many positive statements to and about each other and their relationship, as negative ones… a good marriage must have a rich climate of positivity.” Unconditional commitment to one another is paramount for a couple to thrive in their relationship together.

The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples/May 2011; John M. Gottman

The goal of therapy is to help change the response to a behavior, explains Dr. Kathleen Eldridge. It’s important to understand the other partner’s response, as well as having an awareness of your partner’s emotions, that is the key.

Counseling Today/May 2009; Couples Counseling, Jim Paterson
Contact Monica Forsman, LAPC, for Individual, Marriage & Family therapy at Resilient Solutions, Inc. in Bountiful, Utah.
Monica can be reached at - 801.604.5040 or email at:

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Child Therapy. Parent Coaching.

Often just a few rather simple adjustments in parenting can with consistent application improve a child's previously obstinate behavior, strengthen the parent/child relationship, and cause parenting to be a more satisfying and hope filled experience. Here are some tips:

Focus less on the child's behavior but rather on your response to their behavior. Stay calm. Demonstrations of anger, irritation, or frustration often reinforce the child's negative behavior. In truth, a child feels, though often won't admit it, that he feels more safe and secure when he sees that the parent is capable of handling a difficult situation without falling apart. Warnings and reminders are not necessary. These only give a child more opportunity to leverage and manipulate a parent. Avoid demands or threats by instead creating conditions upon which you as a parent are willing to meet a child's request: "You'd better . . . or else", or "If you don't . . . then you can't . . .", can be replaced with, "As soon as . . . then I would be happy to . . . , or "Those who . . . get to . . . ". The parent is then able to step back from the situation and allow the child to be up against the consequence of his choice rather than to the parent's demand or threat. It is OK for a child to disagree, even throw a tantrum (if it is done in a place such as a room where others are less effected). Give the child as many decision making opportunities as possible within parameters that the parent sets, where the parent can live with the consequences of the child's decision. This gives the child a sense of control, builds confidence in the child, and allows the child to experience and learn from the consequences of their decisions. Finally, be sure that whatever happens, the child feels loved. Remember this statement and consider it before you respond to negative behavior: "A parent does not have the right to discipline a child for whom they don't feel love." No discipline will be effective over the long run if the child does not know they are important and valuable to the parent.

Contact Michael Van Dam, LCSW, 801.815.6152 for individual therapy, family therapy, and parent coaching.  He has taught several courses in Parenting with Love and Logic as well as offering a course for children whose parents are going through a divorce. 

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Financial Coaching. Bountiful, Utah.

Financial Coaching Minute
With the tough economy chipping away at our income and high gas prices taking what is left, we are all faced with the dilemma of re-evaluating our budget and lifestyle.  The true key to financial freedom is paying off our debts.  We are no longer tied down with our paychecks spent, before we even get them.  It has been proven time and time again that becoming debt free is not only feasible but when taken as a personal challenge and with your loved ones on board, it can even be fun.

Three things are necessary to accomplish this goal:
1) Total commitment by all those involved in the budgeting process.

2) A plan that is well thought out with realistic goals in place.

3) Accountability to follow through with that plan with rewards in place as the milestones are achieved.

Only you can make the commitment necessary to reach your goals, however, having a financial coach assisting you to develop your plan and hold you accountable makes following through on your goal of financial freedom very real.  Prior bad habits and mistakes are more easily overcome when you have a professional coach to take the emotion out of the situation.
Some say how can they afford a Financial Coach when they are living paycheck to paycheck.   How can you afford not to have a Financial Coach. Implementing a realistic budget will free up enough money to pay off your debts, cover the Financial Coaching, and provide a good amount of savings. The average couple finds over $300 per month in freed up money in their budget after meeting with a good Financial Coach. You will never know unless you take that first step.
Call Steve Andrews with Resilient Solutions Inc. at 801-589-0300 or email: Steve has over 25 years experience advising families on debt management, budgeting, and establishing an abundant future.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Dealing with Emotional Trauma

RISE group (Resilient Individuals Succeeding through Emotional trauma)

RISE is a 24-week group focused on helping women deal with the emotional trauma from sexual trauma. This group is a Savior focused group that addresses topics such as fear, anger, self-nurturing, healthy boundaries, relaxation, guilt & shame, forgiveness & trust, triggers and more. 
For further information on this group and/or individual therapy, contact Lisa Bradford, 801.660.8441.