Trust & Betrayal
Regrettable incidents between individuals happen in everyday life – they are inevitable, explains Dr. Gottman. If it is not fully processed, it can become as a stone in one’s shoe. Unhappy couples can do irrational things toward one another that can be hurtful and damaging to their relationship.
However, couples taking responsibility for their own actions, instead of pointing their finger at their partner, are taking responsibility and ownership for themselves, which actually helps repair the relationship with their partner. Look to your spouse’s happiness before you look to your own, counsels Dr. Gottman. Both individuals in the relationship want to feel and know that their partner is there for them… if they can really talk with their partner.
Trust is built during small moments… being there for your partner is the most powerful way for trust to build! Gottman’s research further reveals “in a happy marriage, while discussing problems, couples make at least five times as many positive statements to and about each other and their relationship, as negative ones… a good marriage must have a rich climate of positivity.” Unconditional commitment to one another is paramount for a couple to thrive in their relationship together.
The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples/May 2011; John M. Gottman
The goal of therapy is to help change the response to a behavior, explains Dr. Kathleen Eldridge. It’s important to understand the other partner’s response, as well as having an awareness of your partner’s emotions, that is the key.
Counseling Today/May 2009; Couples Counseling, Jim Paterson
Contact Monica Forsman, LAPC, for Individual, Marriage & Family therapy at Resilient Solutions, Inc. in Bountiful, Utah.
Monica can be reached at - 801.604.5040 or email at: monica.lapc@gmail.com
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